The sun is shining bright again.. Shorts stick to my legs, hair frizzes in humidity, iced coffee drips down my arms.
Yet there is fun and ease in it all.
Moving boxes are put away, textbooks are returned to the store, paintings are hung on the walls.
And there is rest again.
Last summer there was heaviness. The heat felt hard to bear. Pressed and shaken. The process of being molded into what I have not yet become. A heart heavy from loss. Uncertainties whispering fear into my mind. More questions than answers.
With only a promise to hold on to: that He will make all things new again.
And holding on to the last thing He put in my heart to do: pursue writing.
So I wake and I drive and I study and I work and I seek Him because my frailty keeps me on my face.
And people ask questions. Genuine questions. With legitimate concerns. “What will you do with an English degree?” “How do you write and pay bills?”
I didn’t have answers when I started. And I was shaky from fear. Fear from having stepped out before. From having fallen before.
All I knew was to step out in faith. So I took a step.
The winds have blown and the storm has raged and every area of my life has since flipped on its head. My life looks entirely different from when I started. Entirely new.
Provision rains down and I have more than I need to keep doing what He put in my heart at the beginning: to write.
“Except the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; except the Lord keeps the city, the watchman wakes but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to take rest late, to eat the bread of anxious toil—for He gives blessings to His beloved in sleep.” –Psalm 127:1-2
Is it vain for me to pursue writing? A genuine question. With legitimate concern.
But as I look at my life, I see all that has unfolded. And instead of vanity, all I see is His protection.
He has protected His plan through the storms, which confirms to me that He has purpose for this pursuit.
“The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack.” –Psalm 23:1
He continues to take care of me. Meeting all of my needs. A brand new apartment, a brand new car, a brand new phone, just to name a few of the gifts He continues to rain down. Orchestrated and given in ways that I can continue pursuing what He put in my heart: to write.
But most importantly, I have Him as my Guide. My Guide through all that I still don’t know. Remaining diligent and resting in His provision this summer.